Buffalo radio station offers five fun reasons why America should annex Niagara Falls

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By Don Redmond

Published on January 14, 2022 at 11:56 am

See that big drop in the middle of the picture? It’s Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. See the little one on the left? These are the American Falls. I’m not saying bigger is better, but come on, it is!

It may have gone under the radar on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, but last Canada Day, a Buffalo radio station had fun at our expense – even if it was totally ironic.

Dave Fields, who works for Buffalo Country 106.5 radio station, has compiled a list of five reasons why Niagara Falls, Ontario should be annexed to the United States.

Fields began by acknowledging that July 1st was Canada Day, and in fact offered solid insight into how Canada Day (formerly Dominion Day until 1982, when she been renamed) started and why.

But he added, no doubt with a smile, “As the country of Canada celebrates now, it would be the perfect time for us to cross the border and annex Niagara Falls, Ontario, to the United States. Of course, we would do it in a non-violent way and it makes perfect sense to understand why Niagara Falls Canada should be part of America.

He then offered his five reasons, starting with:

“1. It has a better view of the falls. Having both sides of the falls fall under one county would make it easier for tourists to travel and allow for more promotion of the area.

He’s not wrong. The Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side handle over 90% of the water flow along the Niagara River, while the American Falls deposit less than 10% of the water into Lake Ontario. Bigger is better when it comes to nature’s handiwork. If the Grand Canyon is one of the Seven Wonders of the World, so is Niagara Falls, but only on the Canadian side.

“2. We wouldn’t have to worry about ‘border closures’. COVID-19 has proven that we love crossing the border, but with its closure, many western New Yorkers were upset that they could only travel a few miles over water. Making Niagara Falls, Ontario part of the United States would just make it easier to get around.

Ugh, the restrictions Canadians and Americans have had to endure during this pandemic. Believe me, Niagara Falls Mayor Jim Diodati and Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown aren’t thrilled with them and would like to trade tourists easily again. One day soon, we hope.

“3. Two Niagara Falls is just confusion. Telling people you live near Niagara Falls, you always have to say the United States or Canada. If Niagara Falls was totally under the control of the United States, you wouldn’t You wouldn’t have to say which country. It would just be Niagara Falls.

Alternatively, the United States could simply give us their Niagara Falls. I mean, come on, we already have 90%. Give us your share and we’ll see what we can do to get Connor McDavid to wear the Sabres uniform.

“4. Boaters would appreciate. How many times have you been on the river hoping not to cross the international border? Is all Niagara Falls in the United States you wouldn’t have to worry about.”

Well, you’re already in Lake Ontario – not Lake New York – so we kind of have squatter rights to that on the Canadian side, anyway. But we will always share it with pleasure.

5. It’s the American way! We see something we like, we want it, we go looking for it. Have you ever been to Niagara Falls and said I wish this side was on the American side? Well, now it can be!

Although Dave Fields has an excellent knowledge of Canada Day, he could do with a refresher course on the War of 1812. Your ancestors tried this 210 years ago. It didn’t go so well on your end. (In fact, while everyone says that Canada won the War of 1812, Canada did not yet exist. On our side, it was British and French settlers and very good native fighters who won this war .)

But, Dave, if you ever come here, a Timmies coffee and donuts (that’s how we spell it) are on us for giving us a good laugh.

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